Path to Enlightenment
By S4WC(27) Ng Chin Wai Denise
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. God said, “Let there be light,” so Mr Hindes shaved his head, and there was light.
Just kidding. Contrary to popular belief, Mr Hindes didn’t first shave his head 4.5 billion years ago. After raising over $40,000 for charity, his hair was shaved off as the culmination of the event. Even though the student who raised the most money was bestowed with the honour to shave it off, she did not have the mental strength to follow through. As a result, Mr Richard K, Mr Ip (Principal) and Mr Chiu had to do the deed.
However, Mr Barry did not have such a noble backstory. Rather than shaving it off in the name of charity, it was more of a forced choice. He was born to become the brightest star of them all. Ever since he was a child, he had a high hairline, which only went up with age. After he started losing hair, his roommate in college provided him with a solution - shave it all off. While his friends weren’t typically to be trusted, his roommate turned out to be an exception, as My Barry was given mostly positive reactions to his new (or rather lack of a) hairstyle. And so, he never looked back. As of now, it’s been 11 hairless years.
While neither felt like Britney Spears after shaving, both felt liberated by their non-existent hairstyle. (Disclaimer: Mr Hindes claims to have never leapt out of a perfectly good plane to parachute to safety.) Except for the occasional sunburn, both have affirmed that there aren’t really any cons of being bald.
Mr Hindes specifically is glad to have an easier life for himself. “If I had hair,” he explained, “I would need to: buy shampoo, pay for haircuts, check mirrors to see if it was in the right place, care if it was raining, find it more difficult to manufacture vitamin D, feel less at home when I swim with dolphins, avoid windy locations, wear swim caps, be less versatile when wearing wigs for dress up days, worry about one day it all being gone, worry about people pulling it in altercations and look much older than I am (like Gandalf the White), if I had hair then I would need to grow a beard to have hair chin balance…. Now balance is a choice: if I grow a beard then I disrupt the balance - I have power over that."
If you’ve ever needed to find Mr Hindes or Mr Barry for whatever reason - given that they are outdoors and it’s a sunny day - locating them is never a hard task. So, here comes the million dollar question: How do they manage to keep their heads brighter than all of our futures combined?
“I’m a naturally shiny person inside and out and it’s reflected on my head,” explains Mr Hindes.
They both take different tracks when maintaining their hairless hat racks. While Mr Barry chooses the less painstaking method of shaving, Mr Hindes actually resorts to wax.
When inquired about advice for aspiring balders, Mr Barry divulges a genuine piece of advice.
"If you're going bald just embrace it. Don't try to hide it, don't try to do a comb over, don't grow your hair long, don't try to be Donald Trump and comb it over. Just embrace your baldness. It is who you are as a bald person and just lean into it and accept it because it's better to just embrace that than to try and hide it."
In conclusion, according to two master balders, I guess hair was just a small price toupee for a plethora of benefits.